DISCLAIMER:  The following post is intended for entertainment purposes only.  ScaryHalloweenFun.com and the Ravenloonatic are not responsible and will not be held accountable in the event any of these “tips” are interpreted in any other manner other than for the intended purposes of humor and entertainment!  That said:

As we all prepare for the upcoming Halloween season, please take a few moments to read these simple reminders to keep things nice and scary.

• Don’t ever assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.

• When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead.

• Never read a book of demon-summoning aloud, even as a joke.

• Don’t go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out!

• If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else’s voice.

• When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER split up and go it alone.

• Don’t make out during Halloween season. Especially if you’ve noticed a few of your friends are missing!

• As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.

• Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

• If you’re searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it’s just the cat, don’t stand there sighing with relief, it’s never the cat, get the hell OUT!

• If appliances start operating by themselves, don’t bother to check for short circuits; JUST GET OUT!

• Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.  They will come back for it.

• If you find a town which looks deserted, there’s probably a good reason for it. Don’t stop and look around.

• Don’t fool around with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you’re doing.

• If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely ambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

• If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, find new companions.  Immediately!

• Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you’re in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

• If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that this is strange because you could swear you had a full tank, jump off the nearest bridge instead. You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten.

• Beware of strangers bearing unusual tools. For example:  chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines (?!), lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons or band saws.  They probably are up to no good and you should stay far, far away.

• If you learn that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had occupants who performed satanic rituals in your house.

Happy Halloween!!

This pair of “boo-tiful” Skeleton Yard Flamingos (Skelamingos!) are molded black plastic with painted-on bones. You will get one Long Neck measuring 30 inches tall and one Short Neck measuring 27 inches tall.  Skelamingos are great for Over The Hill Parties and Halloween Decorations and also make a great gag gifts. They will last for years to come.  Order your “special pair” here.

Food for thought:  use this adult size brain mold to make realistic looking, yummy edible “brains” with your favorite dessert gelatin!  The mold comes with directions and a recipe for a flesh tone brain, but you can make your jello brains in any color and flavor you want to suit your scary Halloween theme!

Order your Brain Jello Mold here

Dracula’s Delight

Serve this drink in a nice wine goblet – Dracula wouldn’t be caught dead using a mug!

Ingredients:

• 1 ounce Bourbon
• 1/2 ounce Lime Juice
• 1 teaspoon (hah!) Tequila

Directions:

Pour over ice in a goblet and top off with Tomato Juice.  Stir, sip and enjoy!

Pina Ghouladas

A delightfuly Ghoulish drink!

• Garnish your glass or goblet with Vampire Blood.

To make Vampire Blood, color clear Corn Syrup with red food coloring.  Paste food coloring works best because it won’t add any liquid to the syrup.  But regular food coloring works, too.

Pour the Vampire Blood onto a saucer or shallow container and spin the rim of your glass or goblet in the blood.  When you turn the glass upright again, the “blood” will ooze down the sides.

Pina Ghoulada Recipe

Ingredients

• 20 ounces pineapple juice, more if needed
• 1 can cream of coconut (15 oz size)
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 1 cup orange juice
• 10 ounces good-quality rum (optional)
• Ice

Directions:

Whisk together pineapple juice, cream of coconut, heavy cream, orange juice and rum, if using. Place 2 1/2 cups ice in a blender, and add 1 cup drink mixture. Blend until smooth; add more pineapple juice if mixture is too thick. Repeat with remaining ice and mixture. Carefully pour into prepared glasses; serve.

Frankentini

Ingredients:

2 parts vodka
1 part white creme de cacao
1 splash of creme de menthe
ice

Directions:

Mix ingredients together; shake with ice; pour into chilled goblets

Witches’ Brew

Ingredients:

36 ounces Unsweetened apple juice concent — thaw, undiluted
5 cups Water
4 cups Vodka
1/2 cup Lime juice
1/2 gallon Lime sherbet — softened
8 cups Club soda — chilled

Directions:

Combine apple juice, water, vodka, and lime juice in a large bowl. Cover and chill. Just before serving, spoon sherbet into a large punch bowl; slowly pour apple juice mixture and club soda over sherbet, stirring gently.

Step right up!  Who can hit the Pumpkin?!

What you will need:

• Plastic Pumpkin or Ghost Trick or Treat Bucket
• Miniature Candy Bars or other small, individually wrapped candies

How to play:

• Give each child 3 to 5 pieces of candy and have them toss them into the bucket
• Kids get to keep the candies that go into the bucket

Variations:

• The older the kids, the further from the bucket!
• Play this one in the dark with scary music and a glo-in-the-dark bucket
• Attack a piece of thin fishing line to the bucket and have someone hide behind a piece of furniture to “mysteriously” move the bucket every now and then
• Use Ping-Pong balls colored like Eyeballs instead of candy – they bounce and will make it more difficult!  Award candies for getting a ball to stay in the bucket

Make sure to have “consolation” candies on hand for those who miss!

Amazon.com Review:
Cocoa Cobweb Cupcakes, Black Cat Cookies, and Stained-Glass Spooks are just a few of the spirited tastes you’ll encounter in Donata Maggipinto’s delightful Halloween Treats.

But it’s not just recipes–you and your favorite little goblin will love creating spooky craft projects such as Candy Cauldrons, Leaf Lanterns, and Paper Bag Pumpkins together in anticipation of All Hallows’ Eve.

Maggipinto includes craft ideas for “Pixies” (children 4-8 years old) as well as older children, and nearly every recipe includes a safe task for younger helpers. (For example, while mom or dad should heat the milk for hot cocoa, kids can roll and stamp out marshmallow ghosts as accompaniment.)

A few of the craft ideas  (Click Here For More…)

Popcorn is a popular treat handed out on Halloween, and is always a favorite at parties! If you’re looking for more than just plain popcorn, perhaps you should visit  Popcornopolis. Popcornopolis is a premium gourmet popcorn retailer specializing in the best-tasting flavored popcorns, caramel apples, candied nuts and confections. They’ve even designed high-tech “cones” to hold their product which will guarantee their legendary “just-popped” taste.

Their best-selling items include Gourmet Zebra Popcorn, Best of Popcornopolis Gift Basket, 3-Way Popcorn Chocolate Lovers Tin, and Gourmet Caramel Popcorn. Plus, all of their “Create-Your-Own” items are wildly popular.

Visit Popcornopolis as you plan your treat giving this year.  Click the ad at the top this post to receive 20% off your order!

These are just a few of my favorite things about the Halloween Season:

• crisp, cool air and clear blue skies contrasted against blazing Autumn colors on the trees
• picking a pumpkin straight from a farmer’s field
• the Harvest Moon
• purchasing bags of candy while the good stuff is available and then trying not to eat it
• decorating the front porch with a jack-o-lantern and chrysanthemums
• watching the original “Halloween” on DVD for the umpteenth time
• seeing luminaries light up the pathway across the street
• receiving an invitation to a Halloween party
• driving around town to check out everyone’s Halloween decorations and voting on the best one
• making caramel apples (and eating more of the caramels than melting them for the apples)
• helping my kids with their Halloween costumes
• answering the door and seeing toddlers dressed as bugs and fairy princesses
• helping my kids check their trick or treat bags to see what they’ve brought home – hoping they’ve got something they’ll want to share with me.

What are some of your favorite Halloween memories and traditions?

Couples costumes are a good, fun choice for Halloween. If you’re spending Halloween with a certain special someone, getting dressed up in a matching theme will make for a great night.  Start with these ideas and use your imagination – the possibilities are endless!

A good way to come up with a funny couples costume is to look to things that come in pairs. Eggs and bacon, salt and pepper, peas and carrots, knife and fork, peanut butter and jelly and wine and cheese are just a few ideas that come to mind.

Scary costume ideas for pairs include Frankenstein and his Bride, Zombies, mummies and even costumes which offer a flashback to the 50′s, 60′s, 70′s or 80′s Neon Funk. Barbie and Ken are pretty scary as full grown adults too.  Depending on where you live, you might think Tacky Tourists are extremely scary.

More costume ideas for couples include a Renaissance Maiden and her Warrior, the Nun with a Priest, Roman Emperor and Empress and the Plug and Socket. For TV show fans there are Star Trek TNG and Fred and Wilma (or Barney and Betty) and Power Rangers costumes.

Still more ideas are doctors and nurses, Olive Oyl and Popeye, Batman and Robin (ladies, make him be Robin!), Charlie Brown and Snoopy, Sandy and Danny from Grease, or going back to the food theme again, ketchup and mustard and Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head.

Check out Costume Supercenter.com for these and hundreds of other costume ideas. Whatever your final choice is this year, enjoy yourself, be safe and have fun!

  … well have we got one for you!  This guy definitely looks evil!  I don’t know what childhood trauma I suffered but I think all clowns are creepy as hell and I avoid them at all costs.  However, if you are one of those folks who love evil clowns, you really owe it to yourself to check out this evil clown mask at Costume Kingdom.  With eleven different evil clown masks and costumes for you to choose from, surely there’s one that you’ll love more than the others.  See this and more at Costume Kingdom.